In the morning Dan and his paranoid wife landed in Sai Gon. He met with his brother, a sister in law, a niece and a nephew. It was 1030 when he cleared custom and everyone met and gathered in an airport restaurant to take a break: Dan and his wife from a long flight, and all others from a long wait. The air was hot. Mid-summer. Dan felt ok, just a little dizzy due to the jet lag. His brother whom he had not seen for three years did not look any different. Not fatter. Not thinner. And his face still retained that confident smile. The brother had lived in America for 22 years before he abandoned all--wife, children, properties--to pursue business in Viet Nam, a business that was breathing its last breaths.
People in the party drank coconut juice and spring water. Dan drank beer. He was an alcoholic but through the long flight--22 hours--he did not have a drop. Now he was thirsty. One 333, and five minutes later, another 333. And when people started glancing at each other with that what-now look, Dan said let's go. He said to his wife you go to Vinh Long now, and I will join you tomorrow. When she opened her mouth trying to have a comment, he stopped her cold: no discussion. And all headed out to the parking lot. Luggages were loaded into the SUV, his wife and sister in law and his niece were going to Vinh Long, their hometown. He and his brother and the nephew were going to Binh Duong, 30 kilometers from Sai Gon, where the brother had his steel factory and residence. The nephew took off first on his Honda motorbike, Dan and his brother took a taxi. The small car squeezed through the dense Sai Gon traffic: 100% or almost so motorbikes that produced incredible noises and fumes. Dan was familiar with the sights. He had been back to the country many times before. But still, the sight of a moving forest of two-wheelers fascinated him. In this town, everyone rides a motorbike. Only crazy people walk. Dan said to his brother only crazy people walk in this town. The brother smiled and answered not. During the slow ride--the taxi must compete with the bikes for foot by foot of road space--his brother talked about the owner of the taxi company whose service they were using now. Mai Linh Taxi. The brother said the guy who owns this company started out about ten years ago with one or two cars and now look he has a fleet of hundreds of taxis serving the whole damn city and everyone who comes into his office must first offer incense and kowtow to the dead Uncle(Ho)and only then they would start talking business. Yeah right, Dan commented in his head, since when did the Uncle become a patron saint of private business, free enterprise, capitalism, profitism, and all that anti-revolutionary shit? But anyway, it was an amusing anecdote the brother was telling.
After about 30 minutes fighting traffic, the taxi turned onto a free way and sped up. The brother asked the driver can we smoke? Yes you can. So he rolled down the windows and Dan and his brother lighted up. The hot and dusty air rushed in. There were much less traffic now and green trees lined both sides of the road. Dan's brother said do you remember the so called war zone D that we learned about in the history of the Vietnamese-American War? Dan said yes I remember. And the brother said, it is this area, yes, the famous war zone D. And it was only a short distance from Sai Gon. Yes. The same as the Cu Chi Tunnels, only a short hop from Sai Gon. Same thing. The war was THAT close. Sure was. But back then when the war was going on, they were only kids. The fighting ended when Dan was 15 and his brother was 10. Most of what he knew about the conflict he read in the books, and it was only after he arrived and settled in America. And he took the side of the Vietnamese. America was the bad guy. And Dan was firm in his view about the war. What he learned about the history of Viet Nam's anti-colonialism and of the American War shaped his political view: he became a leftist, an anti-capitalist, a rebel, a radical, a fan of Commadante Marco. He participated in demonstrations in New York against the war in Iraq and against the Republican Convention. He was a Liberal and very proud of it, and he has absolutely no respect for the hypocritical conservatives. He wants Hilary Clinton--the lesser evil--to be the next two-term president of the United States.
Cut the crap and return to the story. What story? Somebody is telling a story? It seems a story is forming.
Exactly one hour later, the taxi stopped in front of a house. They were in Binh Duong. It is Dan's brother's house. He rented it. Dan paid the driver, how much? Nine hundred thousand dongs.
Ok. Dan dealed out the bills as smoothly as a local. How much do you pay for this house? One million dongs a month. How long have you been living here? Almost a year. To be near the factory? Yes. The house looked two-storied from the outside, but actually it is one-storied with a mezzanine. His brother used the mezzanine for his bedroom. The nephew slept in a small room in the rear of the house.
It was now a little past noon. Time for lunch. The brother said, let's eat and drink. The nephew said same place and the brother said same place and they all hopped on their bikes and headed to the place. On the way there was a toll booth but only four-wheeled vehicles had to pay, two-wheeled could go free. The place served only goat. The three of them sat down at a table and the waiter without being asked threw a case of beer at their feet. Tiger Beer. The restaurant only has a thatched roof and no walls. No need for walls: the air was too hot. And no walls meant breezes. This land is the kind of place that people don't need to close their doors or windows unless they are away from the house or go to sleep at night. Air condition is expensive. No need.
The brother and the nephew did not bother to look at the menu. Dan was too ignorant about the local ways to know what he might want, so he left the ordering to the people who knew: the brother and the nephew. Besides, it did not matter to him what he ate, all he cared about was the beers. They ordered a casserole of goat. And they drank as they ate. In the back, a goat was being killed and it cried like a woman in pain. So like human. They were probably hanging the goat upside down and cut its throat. Dan turned his head and looked inside. He thought someone was crying in pain. But the nephew said they were killing a goat. What the fuck. How could it sound so like human? How do I know? That's the way a goat being slaughtered sounded like.
Dan told his brother people in America want you back even if you come back without a dime they just want you to be there for the children. And the brother said I don't give a fuck what they want I must make this business profitable then sell it and only then can I come back I want to come back with money and I am now looking into borrowing money from the black society to save this business because nobody wants to lend me legit money anymore and I want to have some money to provide my wife and children with some material comforts and I don't want to go back with a bare ass and I don't fucking care what people say about me. Dan said you deal with the black society you are playing with fire are you out of your fucking mind. The brother made a face as if to show he was firm in his determination so let's not talk about it anymore. The subject was dropped.
Dan continued to poor beer down his throat and the more he drank the shitter he felt about the beer. He said to himself maybe I have to drink at least two cases of this cow urine before I feel any buzz. The food was mediocre. He had never eaten goat before but he was not impressed: goat meat tasted just like beef or pork. However, the sauce was good.
Dan looked at the road outside the restaurant: no traffic. The sun was bright, and the light was almost golden. Dan said to himself: I am in Viet Nam and I am on vacation and I am going to have a nice time. He was determined not to let his wife--a hateful, bitter, paranoid, vengeful, and deluded woman--ruin his vacation. It was her religious faith that Dan was cheating on her even when he was not. And how many times did he cheat during their fifteen years together? Once--and she found out, and never forgave him. Dan felt indignant. I got to get the fuck away. This woman nags way too much and I can't stand it anymore. But god, they were on vacation together.
With them at the table was his nephew, a young man of 25. The nephew was thin as a chopstick, and tall as a giraffe. He ate, drank, smoked and talked to his uncles, Dan and his brother, as if they were equals. Dan liked this kid. He seemed mature far beyond his year. He was working for the brother as an assistant director at the factory. Dan thought the two of them, together with whoever was working for them at the venture, were doing their best in their stupidity to ruin themselves--financially and all. The nephew kept opening bottles of beer for Dan and the brother. Thirty minutes into the meal, more than half a case of beer was gone. And as the stock in casserole evaporated down to the bottom, the brother said let's go do you want to take a look at my factory? Dan waved the waiter over. How much? One hundred thousand dongs. He paid the bill. Then all three of them again hopped on their bikes and went to the factory.
The facility was a big warehouse with a green tin roof in the middle of a rice field. When Dan came in and walked around for a tour, the workers were on their lunch break. They sat in groups of three or four here and there on the factory floor and chatted. Dan was impressed by the size of the factory, nearly the size of a soccer filed, which produced steel rods for sale to the building supply middlemen. But the business was making no money, and the brother was under a mountain of debts. The brother said it is hard for me to fold this shit and run, I am so deep into it and you know what having this factory is like raising a son, that is how I feel, and I am doing whatever I can to save it. The nephew said to Dan uncle why don't you go into my office and rest it is air-conditioned. Dan could see that they were starting to get busy, so he said, let me go home, then I will see you in the evening. The nephew said I will give a ride home and they rode back to his brother's house.
Dan spent the afternoon lounging in a coffee shop next to the house. He watched people walking and biking on the small road in front of the shop. This appeared to a working people's hood. Most of the people he observed were young and beautiful. But the poverty was apparent. Dogs ran free everywhere on the dusty road and grabbed whatever they thought was food--most would end up in someone's stew pot. Dan asked the woman do you have beer and she said I only have Green Sai Gon beer and he said that is ok and she brought him a bottle with a tall glass of ice. Dan poured the beer into the glass and lifted it to his mouth and poured the whole shit down his throat. Another glass and the bottle was empty and he said to the woman get me another. Then another and another. No drunken sensation. What the fuck is this he said to himself they call this beer, supposed to be an alcoholic beverage, but where the fuck is the alcohol? Disgusted, he paid the woman and went back to his brother's house, climbed to the mezzanine, lied down on the mattress and looked at the ceiling. Yeah this is how my vacation starts and it does not look like a good start at all. And he just lied there. What time is it? Probably three or four pm.
At 6pm, when it started to get dark, Dan's brother came back and said let's go drink. It is the way nature works here: exactly 12 hours of light and 12 hours of dark. Dan remembered that here in this part of the world day and night have equal number of hours of light and dark. He got up and slowly put on his clothes. I am going to drink real hard tonight because I want to get drunk I have not got drunk for so many days and I feel very bad. How are things at the factory brother? Ok. Just Ok? Just Ok. The nephew was with them. Dan realized that this boy had matured tremendously. He talked and acted like a man burdened with life experiences. His words were slow and deliberated, not in any sinister sense, but it showed a conscious effort to say the right things at the right moments. He never intended any harm whatsoever in his words. He talked like an angel, with respect for his listeners. Dan liked this boy. Boy? Hmm, he was 25 years old. Perhaps man is more accurate. Boy because he was Dan's nephew and because most of Dan's memories about him were of a curious teenager always asking questions.
So off they went for dinner. Dinner with a lot of booze. That was the way it was over here. People drank at any opportunity they have. And dinner at a restaurant with others is a perfect opportunity to booze to your heart's content. Dan and his brother and the nephew went to the same restaurant they had been to at noon. Goat again? Yes, what else is there besides goat? Dog? No dog! Roasted calf? Not around here. So goat. But tonight it was goat prepared in different ways, like bbq'ed, boiled, deep fried, sauteed, ect and ect...Let's try them all. So that was how the feast went. A lot of food and rivers of booze. And tonight, in addition to beers, they had rice wine, not your average rice wine, but rice wine mixed with goat blood. The liquid was red, like blood, and it tasted exquisite. And it packed punch. The nephew kept filling everyone's cup and the table manner was once the cup was filled, it must be emptied immediately. So in not time Dan was feeling that familiar feeling again: ah, great, now I am ready to take on the world. The nephew was having a heated conversation with the brother. He was criticizing the brother for not being realistic and flexible enough to adapt to local conditions while running a business in a place where laws, like the US Constitution, are understood in a thousand different ways and applied in a million ways. Laws but at the same time no laws. And corruption and bribery were a way of making things run here, from getting a job to having a sick person cared for. Am I exaggerating? Yes and no.
Then at 9 pm or around that time, the party broke up. The brother said he must go back to the house to take care of some business. Dan looked at the road, now lit up by street lamps, and found no traffic. Thirty kilometers from the big town and it felt like the countryside. Dan faced the prospect of having to fight the night drunk and wide awake with nothing to do. So he said to the nephew let's go to Sai Gon and check it out. It was alcohol-induced talk. The nephew said yeah why not. The brother took off to take care of his business. Dan and the nephew hopped on the bike and zoomed to Sai Gon. Dan was not sure how drunk the boy was, but for him, that had been sufficient alcohol to turn him into a daredevil that he normally was not. So they were heading for the big town to look for a good time. The road was almost deserted but well lit.
Stream of air crushed against Dan's face and it sobered him up a bit. He sat behind the nephew on the bike and grabbed his back tight because the bike was shooting forward like a bullet and Dan did not want to get thrown off. Then suddenly, BANG! The bike hit something and flipped over and both of them were thrown off and landed on the curb. Dan got up, he was not hurt. But the nephew sustained a cut on his chin and he was bleeding. Dan said let's bandage you up.
But where the fuck do you find first aid at this time of night on the deserted road? The nephew said sorry let's ride on I will use my shirt to cover the cut and I will get bandages when we get to Sai Gon. So they picked up the bike and rode on.
When Dan and the nephew arrived in Sai Gon, the nightlife of the town was at its peak. Dan told the boy to go to the PNL area, where all the debaucheries were going on. And he took Dan there and he parked his bike in a small street. Then the two of them walked to a small joint on BV Street. The nephew was still holding part of his shirt up to his chin to cover the wound and to stop the blood from coming out. They walked into the joint and the nephew said to the receptionist you have a room and the receptionist said hi buddy how are you of course I always have a room for you and who is this bum? He is my uncle and he needs a room to spend the night. Oh your uncle he does not look like your uncle at all he looks like your friend but anyway the room is 402 and here is the key. And the nephew said I need another room for myself and the receptionist said sure if that is what you want here is the key to your own room, but it is on the ground floor if you don't mind. The nephew did not mind.
Dan sat in his room and when the nephew knocked he was ready for adventures. The boy now had his chin bandaged and he looked alright. Are you alright? I am alright what do you want to do uncle? I want to goddamn find some drugs. What do you want? I want x. So x you will get. Dan and the boy walked two blocks to a bar that was decorated all with bamboo and they sat at a table on the sidewalk. It was a dried night and the air was cool. The waiter came over what do you want Dan looked at the nephew and he looked at Dan as if to say whatever and Dan said a Tequila and a Heineken and the nephew added and two tabs of x and the waiter nodded his head in acknowledgement. Five minutes later the waiter came back with the drinks and the tabs. Dan took both of the tabs and shoved them down his throat. Alright, let's see how it feels. By now Dan was 100% drunk and he would kill a man if that was what he felt like doing. But instead of someone to kill, Dan found at the same table was a woman who was looking at him with looks that said take me I am yours. Dan immediately realized that she was a woman of the night hanging out at places like this to look for customers. Dan said you want a drink and she said yes and a beer was brought to her and pretty soon she was in his arms so intimate as if they were lovers. Take me with you, she said. The nephew was surrounded by other girls too but he did not seem to be interested. Perhaps he had pussies at his services at all times and that might explain his indifference at the girls. May be?
So there was no time to waste and Dan said to the woman in his arms let's go to my room and she said yes. Dan said goodbye to the nephew whom at that time was still surrounded by two girls. And the nephew said to Dan you have a good time and I will see you in the morning. So in his compete drunkenness and also in ecstasy, he walked with the woman to his hotel room. She was a woman because she did not look anything like a girl. She was old, not that old like a 70 year old woman, but surely she has passed the prime of her life. Somewhere between 35 and 40. They climbed up to the fourth floor, found the room and Dan opened the door and they went inside. The fun with a prostitute started. Fun because this time it was not going to be fuck and go, but they were going to spend the whole night together. In that room, in that bed.
Dan asked the woman for her name and she said her name was Phuong. Ah what a popular name for women and it is a nice name too. It reminds one of the kind of flowers that blossom only in the summer. The flowers are red and they grow on big trees called Phuong, thus the name of their flowers. This tree blossom with bright red flowers only in the summer, and that is why the students relate this kind of flowers to the summer recess. When they sit in the classrooms and look out the windows and they see the Phuong trees start to blossom, they know the summer is here and soon school will be over. And ah how we all looked forward for the red flowers of the Phuong tree when we were students...
By then Dan was 100% drunk but still in control of his faculties. He was fully conscious of his surroundings, of his drunkenness, and of the strange woman in the room with him. They lied down on the bed, and she said to him do you want to make love now? And Dan said no, let's take our time because we are going to have a whole night together. Perhaps you want me to take off my clothes? Yes, do that. Dan also got naked--and together, they lied in each other's arms. Skin was on skin, and Dan felt a very warm and cozy sensation emanating from the body contacts. It felt warm and sweet and subdued and at the same time, a quiet happiness was slipping into his heart and spreading all over his body. This is happiness, the happiness of being one with another human being. And it was wonderful, ecstatic. Phuong's body was firm and compact and there was not an ounce of extra meat or fat on her. She has a body made for sex, for sexual desire and satisfaction. Dan ran his fingers on her body, from her face down to her feet, and he stopped for a long time on her breasts. What a perfect pair of tits. Firm and round and sizable, a little bigger than the size of his hands. They are real she said. Then as the warmth of his body and soul started to expanded and he felt as if he and she had become one body, he felt a tremendous happiness: the sensation was lowkey, vague, but very real and expansive. Then he explored her body with his mouth. He licked every square inch of her body, gently, slowly, and respectfully but also full of lust. She swayed under his mouth as if in orgasms, and Dan wondered if she was sincere, but for him the question was totally irrelevant. She was a prostitute and more than likely, she was acting, and let her. What was more important was Dan's happiness: the happiness of regaining contact with humanity. Do you want to fuck me now she said and without waiting for him to answer or react, she lied flat on her back and spread her legs and took his penis and guided it into her. Her pussy was wet and penetration was easy and Dan, like a machine, started to rhythmically pumped his rod inside her pussy. Every whore's pussy was the same: not tight enough. So Dan fucked as if he had to fuck but his feeling was not with the fucking, he was thinking about the physical connection he was having with the woman, but as far as ejaculation is concerned, Dan had no expectation because he knew he would not be able to reach orgasm: He had had too much to drink and also all the drugs. Ejaculation was impossible. But he continued to fuck. And he felt very satisfied. Then as he felt exhausted, he stopped and rolled off her body. They lied next to each other looking at the ceiling. You have taken too much drugs and drunk too much alcohol tonight and that was why you could not come she said and Dan said yes. Are you going to pay me now? How much do you want? How much do you have? I don't know but you can check my wallet and take all you want and she did: She emptied his wallet of money. And she told him so when she returned to bed and he said that was ok. Dan was in a half awake and half dreaming state, and things around him were surreal, he felt as if he was in a vivid dream. And in that dream world, Phuong, the prostitute, was making him feel loved. By her gentleness, her unjudgemental attitude, and especially her sweet talks, talks that dripped drops of honey into his ears and melted his heart. He thought of her not as a prostitute, but as a woman, and he was happy. Dan and the woman even talked about love. How is it possible for two strangers to slowly fall in love with each other? Dan felt as if he were Count Dracula, thirsting for human intimacy and love. He wanted to love and be loved. And tonight, this prostitute had revived his heart, she had made him love her, even if only a few fleeting moments. She talked and acted toward him with care and reverence, and she made him feel as if he was loved. Ah Dan knew himself better than anyone did: his heart is a desert and will absorb every drop of rain, he will value every act of affection, genuine or not, and he will be thankful. Tonight, Phuong--the woman, the prostitute--was rain on the desert of his heart.
Time passed and night was turning into day. Dan did not feel the need for sleep even though he felt tired. They continued the small talks. And whenever his penis got hard, he made love to her. He was still unable to ejaculate but was not angry about that. Then while he was drifting in and out of consciousness, Phuong whispered in his ears that it might be possible for two strangers to fall in love--given enough time. Then she sang. She had a sulky voice. She sang just loud enough for him to hear, the love songs he was familiar with. Then she said I am going to Singapore this Sunday. For what? Doing the same thing I am doing here. But why Singapore? I can make more money there. Why do you do this? Easy money, and besides, I love sex, she said. Phuong told him about her life: divorced a husband because he physically abused her. She had a son in a private high school in Sai Gon and she needed to provide for him and saw him once a month. And she owned a house in Vung Tau. Perhaps you want to visit me there before I go to Singapore, she said, I will cook for you whatever your favorite food is, and we will make love under the moon. She found a pen and wrote for him her address in Vung Tau and her cell phone number. You are a very sincere woman, he said. And she smiled. Try to see me in Vung Tau, we will have a good time, she said. Dan stood up, walked to window and drew the curtain. A stab of sunlight cut into the room and brightened up a corner. It was morning. Phuong said almost in a panic: close the curtain please. Dan closed the curtain. And by now, his eyes were heavy and he felt very sleepy. Let's sleep, he said. And they fell asleep.
The next thing Dan knew, someone was knocking on the door. Phuong woke up, put her underwears on and answered the door. It was Dan's nephew. He told her to tell the boy that all is fine, and when she came back to the bed, they fell asleep again. Dan did not know how long he slept, but he was waken by the phone and it was his nephew asking him when is he going to come out. He looked at his watch: it was near noon. Phuong opened her eyes and asked him if he wanted to make love to her again before he went. Then she took his penis into her mouth. And he inserted himself into her. Lay still, let me do it for you, she said. And she took over. Then they stopped and Dan started feeling the sadness. He dressed, then bent over her who was lying there still naked. He kissed her breasts and sucked her nipples like a baby sucking his mother's. But no milk came out of her breasts. Phuong closed her eyes. I don't want to go, Dan said. I don't want to go out there in the world alone gain. For Phuong, it might be business as usual: everyone left her, and Dan was no different. He buried his head in her breasts, feeling a powerful attraction to her--to another human being. Then he yanked himself away and walked toward the door. Ask them to let me sleep until the afternoon, please, Phuong said after him.
Dan walked out of the hotel and saw his nephew sitting on the other side of the street at a coffee shop. He came over and sat down next to the nephew. What time is it? It is one in the afternoon, uncle, do you want a coffee. No, let's go.
Dan never saw the woman again.
9/2006.